“You’re special. You’re so mature for your age”

He was 10 years older than me. We met at a cafe and started talking right away.

Back then I really liked that a man like that was interested in me, and I liked him too. There were lines like “you’re so special” and “you’re so mature for your age”.

My mom was neutral about it, since it was my choice. My dad was against it. But neither of them knew I was in a sexual relationship with this man.

After three months of seeing each other, he moved in with me. I was renting a flat close to his work. Sometimes he brought food or ordered something in, but everything was rosy until we started having sex. After that he shifted that responsibility onto me and just came home to everything ready. Sometimes I felt like he only came over to sleep and eat.

He pressured me sexually: if you want to stay with me, do what I say. I lost my virginity to him, and he took advantage of the fact that he “knew more”. He manipulated me and insisted on unprotected sex. I never got any pleasure with him.

He criticised the people around me and didn’t want to meet my friends and family. He didn’t see the need.

Through him I learned new things about the world. He worked in a creative field, which interested me. We philosophised a lot.

I felt that he was the only one who understood me and accepted me as I am.

He always paid me compliments. Once he rented out a whole cinema so I could watch my favourite film.

When something didn’t go according to the plan he had built in his head, he would really escalate things, scold me like his own child and make me feel guilty.

And that was on top of the sexual pressure, the household difficulties, the criticism of the people around me and other problems.

This relationship didn’t end on my initiative. It was my mom who ended it.

I told her about us, and one evening she came over, took me away and threw him out. He kept texting, but I didn’t reply.

This experience taught me not to wait, and to end a relationship as soon as the red flags appear.