Self-partnered: a follower's story

For me, being self-partnered means freedom and a sense of wholeness. I feel my life in its entirety and can fulfil myself in it 100%.

I see only advantages in this way of life, because every day I choose my own life.

I don't find any downsides to this way of life, but I would point out a few specific features.

My life is quite clearly planned out, because I have a lot of desires and I take care of all my needs.

I have date days, days with friends, days with myself, days with my son, days when I'm all about work, and travel days.

Probably my main insight is that I can be on my own, and I don't need anyone for that. It gives me an incredible feeling of freedom, safety and confidence.

It took me a long time to arrive at this way of living, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to find like-minded people, but it all worked out really well. It was a journey of 3.5 years. I had an 8-year relationship, a business, a family, an amazing new apartment, a car and even two trees, but I didn't feel happy. Psychotherapy helped me find myself and open up to my own desires, and I gradually began to change everything.

I used to be unable to even go out for a walk on my own, and now I'm ready to travel solo to the other side of the world without feeling lonely.

When I meet new people, I don't make my way of life the focus of the conversation, but if it comes to romantic relationships, I tell them straight away how my life is set up.

Few people are ready to keep up a romantic relationship in this format. There's very little information about being self-partnered and a lot of social prejudice.

That said, I'm quite open about my way of life, and if I face judgement, I simply leave the topic out of the conversation. I don't limit my social circle to self-partnered people only.

Another insight: life becomes more dynamic. Sometimes it can hurt, but it brings a lot of new experiences, and that's really great.

Thanks to this lifestyle I've made a lot of friends, because I have more time for them, and with some of them I even have a sexual connection. For me, being self-partnered goes hand in hand with polyamorous relationships.

The strongest reactions to my way of life came from my former mother-in-law and my own parents, who are still expecting me to build a traditional family after all.

I don't rule that out either, because life is very unpredictable.

If I wake up one morning and realise that something in me has changed, it's quite easy for me to decide to make changes in my life and start acting on a new plan.