Six tools for your pleasure toolkit
This may or may not be news to you, but sexual and sensual pleasure is directly linked to our sense of personal power and inspiration.
Six tools for your pleasure toolkit
Taking responsibility for your own pleasure is always better than letting someone else eat that delicious cake for you.
This may or may not be news to you, but sexual and sensual pleasure is directly linked to our sense of personal power and inspiration.
If you want to build a house, you'll need a toolbox. You'll need lots of different tools, in all shapes and sizes, and perfectly sharpened, right?
You'd want that house to withstand anything: from the aftermath of a wild party to any unexpected storm that (Mother) Nature throws at it when she's in a rage.
Your body is that house. The tools are how you build your emotional resilience and intelligence against internal and external stresses (family trauma and triggers, falls, heartbreak, burnout).
Now picture your toolkit, give it a colour, a shape, a weight, a vibration, and we'll help a little...
Translation of the article "Give yourself (and everyone else) the gift of presence"
Author: Poppy Sloan
Tool #1: drink enough water
Let's start with the simplest tool of all: drink the damn water. You're going to need it. Christmas parties, end-of-year parties, weekend parties. This time of year is full of parties, with a ridiculous amount of prosecco and almost anything you could fry or grill. Water helps with hangovers, water helps our body flush out toxins, and water helps us process emotions. Oh yes, it also helps you stay wet.
Hello to everyone making love over the New Year holidays!
Tool #2: step away from standard thinking
Unlearn the patriarchal ideal that screams you have to seize, chase or dig your nails into the sensual, as if it's going to run away from you. That's the patriarchal daddy talking in you, not you. There's sensuality all around you all the time, and so much to try. Sensual energy flows through all of us and through almost everything around us when we immerse ourselves in it. Don't grab, don't cling. Change your point of view.
Tool #3: make your routine sexy
Watch the bees make honey, let yourself become caramel maple syrup. See the ocean pouring out its wetness at your feet? Meet it. Kiss the moon. Watch the sexual tension between the stars. Venus will make love to you until you're exhausted, if you let her. Pluto will watch you, peeking from afar.
Instead of trying to smoke a joint out of your mum's bathroom window to calm your anxiety, try going outside. Find a forest, a park, the sea, look up bodies of water on Google Maps or follow your intuition. Nature surrounds us on all sides, and it's bloody delightful.
One of the simplest ways to "ground yourself" isn't a 10-day fast somewhere in India, but standing barefoot on real, sandy earth. Sand, mud, grass... Lean against a mountain, against anything. Just take your shoes off.
People really do need to regularly connect with something far bigger than they can imagine. It's good for both the soul and the ego. Just close your eyes and relax: you are literally breathing in the sap of the trees and then giving energy back to the earth. You're simply a hot, ecosexual thing, yes, that's exactly you.
Tool #4: learn to observe yourself
When we observe ourselves emotionally, without an audience, we take full responsibility for what belongs to us and leave everything else behind. Journaling is a great starting point, but if writing a paper journal isn't for you, I'd recommend keeping a voice-note diary or a video diary on your phone. Listen to your recordings a few days later, empathise with yourself, but also notice what has already changed since the feeling was first expressed, and then reflect on it. That's emotional evolution.
Another really beautiful way to observe yourself in your physical body is to film or photograph yourself. Although selfies might seem a little self-absorbed, I like to use them to try to honestly capture what I'm feeling and to notice how I move in my body. Filming yourself moving freely (free-form dance) will tell you a lot about your body. Observe.
Does one side of your body move more?
Does one shoulder / leg / arm / knee stay close to your body?
Is your face tense or relaxed?
Then sit down and talk to yourself about what all of this might mean.
Tool #5: the old-fashioned way
If you have to travel somewhere to be with your family, it's not very practical to bring along a vibrating dual rabbit toy. When was the last time you did it the old-fashioned way?
No porn, no toys. All kinds of self-pleasure and orgasms are wonderful, but think of this as the acoustic version of your favourite song. Slow and sexy, as if you could really hear every pluck of the strings.
It's worth noting that vibrating toys really can reduce sensation in the vulva over time.
P.S. Something like a yoni egg would be a super grounding option for everyday use at this time.
Tool #6: stay in real life wherever possible
After a year of nothing but Zoom, use this time off with deep gratitude for the chance to look at someone's face in real life.
You're here to connect, to love and to create, not to be an Instagram demon.
This time of year is really hard for people facing socio-economic barriers, so maybe think twice about what you put out into the online space, and be a person who loves people.
Tip: bring the same grounded, reflective approach you use for your real life to your social media.
