Sex diary: his post-sex reflection and grandma's euphemism

28 years old, I work in support.

I'm supporting this diary.

No relationship. I'm not ready yet because of a difficult experience in past relationships.

Wrapped up my six-month series, which went from "no more sex" to "well, the plans were already made, you can't let people down".

I was waiting for my results on all the STI tests. You know, keeping an eye on your health really is important. Even if waiting for the results is killing you. For today I had two templates ready:

1. Hi, I have syphilis, please get tested.

2. Tomorrow is still on, I'll be there by 5 pm.

Lately sex hasn't been a frequent guest in my life, so any hint of it is already a whole event. By the way, by sex I mean all its available and unavailable kinds. Because during oral sex both partners get pleasure, right? Well, or at least I'd like to think so.

I really love talking everything through before sex, from positions to clothes. And today I'm on a whole fourth date! In general I'm in favour of moving to sex quickly. Because how are you going to build a relationship with someone you're crazy about if there's no match in sex? No way.

So what happened today? A long lack of practice turned into dissatisfaction with myself.

I figured that if this is a long-term partner, we'll get used to each other over time.

And I'll say something separately about a thing that's very important to me: communication, both before and after sex. As if it's precisely having something beyond physical intimacy that makes us human. And if a person opens their mouth and nonsense comes flying out, it's a one-night stand at best.

I'm 28, after all. On the one hand, I'm in my prime; on the other, there's constant pressure from relatives about family, the whole bunnies-and-lawns thing. But I'm no gardener-farmer. I'm a humanities guy.

Post-sex reflection.

The fear of losing interest in a partner after sex, again. I contradict myself. I do think you should move to sex as quickly as possible, but it's as if after that my partner won't be able to surprise me with anything. Seen it all.

I blame it on being an Aquarius, not on my libido. The stars are to blame ✨

I think masturbating once a day is normal. At the very least it's good for me, given my prostatitis that's just flared up.

Now grandma's euphemism, "are you seeing someone for your health", has finally found its meaning.

And how great it is to work remotely. Sat around, clicked away, thought about my health 🫠

Have you ever felt desire for someone when you knew for sure that nothing would happen between you?

Well, more precisely: at first there was something, and then suddenly there wasn't. And then you live in endless waiting. And now you've already worked through it all with a psychologist and almost climbed out of the hole, but the level of touch you allow yourself with this person literally screams: "SEX?!"

And on the other side, they don't hear you. I wanted to complain, and it ended up being about sex. Wow.

Once again, and yet again: God save remote work.

It's such a thrill when you can take a break, say your internet dropped or the power went out, and meanwhile get the best blowjob of your life.

What am I getting at? I'm amazed at what the human body can do, and at how differently everyone's gag reflex works. Simply fantastic!

I've noticed that since I started writing here more, I've been reflecting more on all these near-forbidden (by whom? since when?) topics. I'll definitely be back. In the meantime, I'm adding a notch to my count of sexual partners. Racing towards 200, wild.