Sex diary, continued: sex tourism, familiar good sex and understanding friends

Well hello, dear diary!

I've completely neglected you this past month. Work, deadlines and showing empathy took all my energy. I had no time for you at all. But of course I have something to share 😏

My flatmate has gone back to her hometown, which means I have to make the most of the situation.

Without my usual dating app, I discovered stories in a messenger app. You'd think, who needs them? But every now and then that coveted "Hi!" pops up in your DMs. That's what happened this time too.

We hadn't seen each other for over a year, shared a quick rundown of our news, and when it came down to it, I felt maximum discomfort. I just can't do it "to tick a box". Plus, I'm used to giving myself fully to the process. And here it was as if nothing was expected, required or wanted.

The sex itself can be summed up by the title of François Ozon's film "Everything Went Fine". Everything. Went. Fine?

It's been a year and three days since my last relationship (yes, I'm counting), and I think I've finally found someone regular.

It all started, as tradition dictates, with a hookup, but this is already the fourth or fifth time we're meeting up for sex and, without fail, a talk. Yes, it's still hard to talk about anything "regular", but you know me, dear diary: five or six dates and I'm ready to walk down the aisle.

But do you know what I keep wondering? What actually matters more to me: sex or some other kind of closeness? Here's how I see it: this person isn't picture-perfect, and we don't have that many shared interests, but when it comes to sex, I feel completely comfortable. And then it really doesn't matter what the person says or how they look. God, please don't let me fall in love.

After a stressful month, I decided to treat myself to a trip up north.

Besides the main sights, it's important for me to tick the sex-tourism box too. Honestly, I think a box like that should have appeared on visa application forms long ago.

Meanwhile, as I ride the train, I'm remembering the sex I once had on a long-distance train. We nearly got caught back then, because people had to use the toilet next to the conductor's compartment, and that really upset her. In the end she started banging on the door and we had to hurry up.

I still dream of sex on a plane.

Well, sex beyond the Arctic Circle exists! I can scratch one more region off my sex map. Overall, nothing remarkable happened, but here's what I caught myself realising afterwards: I get much more pleasure from foreplay and petting than from penetration.

From the moment you undress each other, touch, feel each other's skin (that's actually my main fetish), memorise each other's scent, explore the body with kisses: that's the best part for me. And I realise that most of the sex in my life has been one-night stands, but still, you need to really feel your partner. "Mechanical" sex just doesn't work for me. So who am I: a sensual romantic or a victim of lust and debauchery?

Actually, I caught myself realising that for the whole trip up north I was thinking about the person waiting for me back home.

In fact, I was really only looking for sex up north to tick a box. And now, straight off the train with souvenirs in hand, I'm rushing to see them. A little sparkling wine and such familiar, good sex.

I'm home.

You know why I adore my friends? Here's the situation. We hadn't seen each other in a thousand years, our schedules finally lined up, and we went out to sit in a bar downtown.

Out of the blue I get a message: "Hi, how are you?" "Hi, I'm out in the neighbourhood with friends." "Want to come over?" I look guiltily at my friends and ask if it would be terrible if I stepped away for an hour or so.

The result: it worked out almost like the saying goes. I got to hang out with my friends and finally closed the loop on a connection that had been left hanging for almost 6 years.

When I came back, we had a giggle about it, of course, but carried on sitting there talking about everything under the sun. I wish everyone friends this understanding.