Saving New Year from drama

People can experience New Year in completely different ways.

For some, it's a family holiday with set traditions that must not be broken; others are used to partying and letting loose all night; and someone else is simply waiting for the chance to breathe out after a stressful stretch and wants to spend the night of the 31st into the 1st at home under a blanket.

Different ideas about how to celebrate (or not celebrate) this holiday can come as a surprise if it's your first New Year together as a couple. Differences can lead to tension and conflict.

**Purpur believes that differences are a great reason for a deep conversation that will help you get to know each other better.**

Behind every idea of the holiday lies a person's experience, their family and personal stories. And it's interesting to learn about them. Your partner may reveal a new, unexpected side of themselves.

**Ask each other:**

• what does New Year mean to you
• tell each other your important stories connected with New Year
• how do you picture this holiday and how would you like to spend it this year
• what lies behind these ideas, why is it important to you to (not) celebrate it exactly this way
• what meanings do you put into traditions, how did they take shape and what do they mean to you
• what will happen if these traditions (or your way of (not) celebrating New Year) can't come true
• what do you feel when you imagine New Year going differently from how you want it to

Relationships are a constant attunement to each other

It's important to see, behind your differences, what unites you.

(Not) together

Even behind the most radical differences you can discover shared values.

For example, for one person New Year is a "family holiday" whose purpose is to give a sense of togetherness. The other also values togetherness, but only with the person closest to them. If for one person a party with dancing until morning is the final full stop of the year, for their partner that full stop might be a calm, quiet evening.

**You don't have to do everything the same way and together at all.** A couple can have differences, and that's normal.

Once you've found the values that unite you, you can think about what a **shared way of celebrating together** might look like. It's important to figure out:

• what really matters to you
• and what you can let go of
• what's important to share with your partner
• and what you can do on your own (and not necessarily on New Year's Eve)

Most likely, each of you will welcome this New Year differently than before.

Perhaps you'll want to immerse yourself in (or just get a taste of) your partner's experience, swap New Year traditions and preferences, understand each other a little better and see New Year through the other person's eyes.

Or maybe you'll manage to create **your own traditions** and find a new way of celebrating New Year.