How do I ask my partner for care and attention when I'm feeling bad?
In short: clear instructions. A clinical psychologist answers a reader's question.
How do I ask my partner for care and attention when I'm feeling bad?
In short: clear instructions.
December deadlines and bustle are a time when you especially want to be cared for.
A clinical psychologist and author of a Telegram channel answers Purpur readers' questions. You can ask yours in our DMs.
When you're feeling resourced, talk with your partner about how they see the changes in your state.
They may not notice the full range of your mood shifts. Then you can tell them what you look like and what happens to you when you're going through a difficult or, for example, a depressive episode.
Give your partner clear instructions on what care and attention mean to you.
For example:
During a depressive episode, I need you to help me get to a psychiatrist, make sure I have three meals a day, be gentler and not blame me if nothing helps.
In less difficult periods, it also helps to put your feelings into words and make a clear request.
For example:
"I got tired at work today, and I can't find the energy even for small things. Could you take care of dinner and walk the dog? I'd be grateful to you, and in the meantime I'll be able to rest and get my strength back."
