What's out there after divorce

When my family, who live in another city, first found out about the divorce (that didn't happen right away), they decided it was the end of everything — and that a dreary, lonely, unhappy existence lay ahead of me.

"How will you get by without a man?" they said. "Who's going to take you, with all those offspring?" they said. Take. As if I were a frying pan at IKEA.

The long years of my marriage discredited the very idea of marriage for me, but they didn't discredit falling in love, sex or relationships.

I've had several relationships of varying length and closeness. Plus, the one-night-stand format really suits me — and I often go for it.

In general, I have a lot of people over — there are parties, and sometimes friends stay the night. I don't spell out to the kids that I'm closer to some of these people than to others.

They know it's something that happens between adults by mutual consent and for mutual pleasure. They also know that sex can lead to babies, but if you take certain precautions, it won't.

The older ones can already tell the difference between a friendship and a romance — of course they notice that my partner turns up with some regularity.

We talk with the kids about love and being in love. I'm glad they get to see equal, healthy relationships that bring pleasure.

I've had some really touching moments when partners volunteered to read the kids a bedtime story, give them a guitar lesson, play board games, or order pizza and watch Futurama together.

Very often my partners took the kids to school and kindergarten, giving me an extra half hour of sleep.

It's really nice. But it's not required. My kids are mine, and my relationships are mine alone. They're two parallel spheres that can sometimes overlap if everyone involved wants them to.