"There should be no stagnation in a relationship." Or maybe it's the best part?

Stagnation is a term from economics.

It means a lack of movement.

And indeed, a lack of movement is ruinous for an economy.

But who said that a period without momentum in a romantic relationship with a partner is just as bad?

What economics calls "stagnation" is, in a normal relationship, often CALM.

Calm means tranquility, stability, predictability and, as a result, a sense of safety next to a person. No emotional rollercoaster and no hormonal rush: that very healthy relationship in which you can live well and focus on yourself and on building other areas of your life.

But there is CALM, and there is BOREDOM. How do you tell which one you're feeling?

In calm and stability, you feel that, on the whole, all your needs in the relationship are being met.

In a state of boredom, however, there's a feeling that some need inside you hasn't been met.

The question is this: does this particular need of yours (for example, for entertainment, growth or recognition) have to be met specifically through your relationship with your partner?

Boredom

is your own sense of emptiness, of something missing inside. It's your subjective state, so you may be bored while your partner isn't at all.

When we're bored, we often try to fill that emptiness from outside sources, be it our hobbies or our relationship. But if it's YOUR inner boredom and not a dead end in the relationship, then outside measures like trying to "revive" and "push forward" the relationship are unlikely to help.

Think about it: is your relationship boring, or is it you personally who is missing something?

Try having an honest inner dialogue with yourself. First, figure out what exactly you want: new experiences, support, some new kinds of activity?

Or maybe you simply have too much free time?

Don't be surprised: that, too, can create a feeling of loneliness and of a life that isn't full.

Next, imagine: could there be an event or something else (other than your partner) that could fill your attention and your time? For example, a new activity you'd enjoy even without your partner, or a project that would give you confidence and a sense that your role matters.

This isn't an exhaustive method, but this kind of dialogue can help you see whether you can become happier and feel more fulfilled without taking radical steps in your relationship.

It's a different matter if you want to take a new important step in the relationship (moving in together, getting married, having children) but it isn't happening, because the other partner is openly not ready or doesn't give an answer.

In that case, it's not stagnation in the relationship but a conflict of interests.

When one person is ready to move on and the other has doubts, that's not stagnation: it's different plans with your partner that keep you from moving further in the same direction.

And if that's the case, you simply need to talk honestly with each other and decide whether your next steps match or not.

And of course, not every relationship requires endless linear development.

Where is a couple supposed to develop after 30 years of marriage, with grandchildren? Or a couple where both are busy with their careers and don't yet feel the need to have children or make the marriage official?

Does that mean their relationship isn't developing? Or is a relationship, above all, a source of comfort and stability, where you don't spend your energy but gain it for your own personal growth and achievements?

Sometimes the most important thing in a relationship is that people are SIMPLY GOOD TOGETHER. And they don't need to "develop" their relationship any further.