Slut-shaming

In many cultures, sex and sexuality are perceived differently for men and for women. For men, having lots of sexual partners is okay (and even encouraged), while for women it's taboo and slut-shaming.

Purpur: in this text we use the terms "men" and "women" to highlight the gender difference in how sexuality is perceived.

In these cultures, women are expected to be passive and uninterested in sex.

(And at the same time sexually uninhibited.)

Even now, despite the abundance of sex education, female sexuality remains a stigmatised topic.

Contrary to patriarchal stereotypes, many women want, and choose, to have an active sex life, and with different partners.

Purpur: goddesses.

But they run into slut-shaming.

Purpur: sadly, it even shows up in the comments under Purpur's posts (you'd think it wouldn't).

Slut-shaming harms women's mental wellbeing: lower self-esteem, feeling that something is wrong with you, an urge to hold yourself back.

All of this gets in the way of expressing yourself naturally and enjoying life.

What helps?

1. Support in communities and information spaces that destigmatise women's sexual activity.

2. Feminist literature about female sexuality.

For example, Emily Nagoski's book "Come as You Are".

3. Stand-up comedy with feminist views normalises sexual freedom through jokes.

Purpur's picks: Ali Wong, Iliza Shlesinger, Hannah Gadsby, Tig Notaro, Amy Schumer, Michelle Wolf.

4. Reclaiming is one of the practices that can help you accept your sexual experience. Reclaiming means taking a stigmatising word for yourself and giving it a positive meaning.

For example, the English word "slut" has come to be used without the negative undertone.

Of course, this approach isn't for everyone.

If you've faced slut-shaming, remember

There's nothing wrong with you.

You have the right to whatever sex life suits you, and nobody has the right to tell you how much sex you should be having.

Enjoy life and enjoy yourself.