Sex diary: a woman and her LOTS of sex

We're lying in bed, resting. Since our vacation, so much passion and feeling has woken up that we can't tear ourselves away from each other. I want to try something new. Today we masturbated together. Last time he picked the porn, and this time it was me.

Lately there's been a lot of conflict. I got really jealous when I found out he jerks off to photos of women we know or of actresses. It got to the point of crazy fights. Now I want to get back on track. When we do it together, it doesn't feel as painful.

Masturbating together with a partner is a whole new level of trust and intimacy. We both came, then he kept going without me, which stung a little. Right now everything is good with sex. But I'm scared that I won't be enough for him.

We were so worn out today that there's simply no energy for sex. Although whenever I think nothing's going to happen, we always end up getting turned on and it comes to sex. I kind of want to send him a dirty text to tease him, but after a long day I'd rather just lie together and cuddle.

I was making breakfast when I got his message. I went straight to the bedroom and through the half-open door saw him masturbating. I wanted to help. I undressed, and he started touching and kissing me. He came, I didn't. I want to save the spark for the evening. I need to surprise him somehow, maybe put on stockings and pretty lingerie.

He's been lying in the bath for ages, as always, and I've already managed to miss him and get turned on.

Today we just went for a walk, visited friends, kissed and touched each other a little in the elevator. My requests for sex led nowhere. Time to take action and seduce him myself.

He came to bed and undressed. How I love his torso... Then he suggested we masturbate together to porn. I didn't feel like it, so we just masturbated lying next to each other, kissing. I knew it would end in sex, and it did. It was very loud, rough and very arousing.

I teased him with nudes while he was on a morning call. When he came back, I climbed on top of him, started kissing and undressing him, and we had sex. In the morning everything is usually quicker, and I didn't have time to come. That's okay, I'll save the spark for the evening.

It's so good that when you work remotely you can always take a break for sex. It really turns me on when he makes a gag out of a T-shirt and bends me over.

I'm lying in bed, remembering the sex we had during the day. It was rough. I can't remember the last time I was so turned on. I want it to be like this more often. Otherwise he masturbates so much that there's neither arousal nor energy left for me.

It's not exactly that I'm lacking sex, it's more about closeness. I want to just lie there and kiss, without it going any further. I want us to pay each other compliments. Yes, I'd like to somehow work through the idea that intimacy isn't always about sex. It's about trust, attention, caresses, closeness.

I tried to explain this to him. But for him passion = sex, and hot kisses mean penetration has to follow. And I don't think that's how it is.

We talked. It's so strange to me that for men masturbating twice a day (or more) is normal. Well, fine, if that's what he's used to and enjoys. Then we started discussing what I'd been thinking about: that there's too little tenderness and passion WITHOUT sex.

He agreed to pay more attention to it. We kissed and cuddled for a long time. I hope it stays this way.

It's so sad to leave in the morning while he's still asleep. I want to press up against him, lie next to him and breathe in his scent...

I don't know if it's like this for everyone, but I'm only attracted to people I find interesting to talk to. I can fantasise about anyone, I have a vivid imagination, but I only get aroused when it involves people I'm very close to. I haven't pictured anyone at all in a long time. Somehow I want to close those boundaries and not let a single image into my head.

He often doesn't believe me when I say he's the most attractive man to me. But it's true. I guess for me it works like this: "love = want". Of course, he's objectively attractive too: tall, broad-shouldered, with a beautiful, well-proportioned face. But it's as if that's not what I'm looking at.

I just like that he's mine, that we have such chemistry, even after several years.

I forgot to write it down on the day. I asked him to remind me what the sex was like. Here's what he said:

"We started kissing on the rug, then I picked you up and carried you to the bedroom. You said we'd just kiss, but for some reason you started undressing me. I took your clothes off, we kept kissing, trying to find each other down there. I laid you on the edge of the bed, lifted your legs up, and we came together."

Yes, that's exactly how I remember it.

It was the first time I'd seen his face during orgasm. It turned out to be so arousing and beautiful that when I heard his retelling and pictured it all, I got turned on instantly. We started kissing and taking each other's clothes off. His hair was wet from the shower, and mine was messy. It was great sex. Not the best, but great.

It's strange that sometimes my mood lifts after sex (as I understand it, that's how it should be, because of hormones), and sometimes I'm grumpy even afterwards. I grumble and get furious, and I don't understand why.

We've finally got back into our usual rhythm after a hard period full of conflict. Intimacy once or twice a day is consistently good. I'd already thought it would never be like this again. Before, out of resentment, I'd sometimes recall the photos of the girls he masturbated to right in the middle of sex, torturing myself. And now I look at him and admire him again. It's not that I'm not jealous or suspicious at all, it just somehow got easier. Time heals, and so does a ton of books and podcasts on relationship psychology.

A long-term relationship takes a great deal of work, patience and compromise. Every day you both nourish your love so that it lives and blossoms.