Practices to become closer
Tactile, vulnerable, closer.
Practices to become closer
Tactile, vulnerable, closer.
Together with a body-oriented therapist, we're sharing practices you can try with each other to become closer.
In the next part, we'll talk about other practices and how to share your sensations from them with each other.
How to suggest these practices to your partner
- No serious lead-up: just say that this matters to you and you'd like to try it
- Show that you're curious to try these practices together with them
- Share that you're also anxious/nervous/don't know what to expect
Contact
1. Questions for yourself
"How do I sense whether I like this person or not? Where in my body do I feel it?"
"How do I know that I can and want to trust this person?"
2. Questions for each other
"What did you feel when you first saw me, and what did you want to do?"
"How did you realise you wanted to keep talking?"
3. Practice
Stand facing each other as far apart as possible. Feel your body and the distance between you. Take your time. Slowly, step by step, start moving towards each other, pausing at each step and noticing what changes inside you and between you. Notice when you feel more or less comfortable, and keep moving until you're as close as feels comfortable.
Stop, notice how your sensations have changed, and start moving apart at the same pace until you're back where you started.
Share your sensations.
Getting to know the body
Sit facing each other and close your eyes together.
Begin to explore your partner through touch (at the same time or taking turns).
With soft, gentle movements, touch their shoulders and neck with your fingertips; feel your partner's warmth, pulse and breathing under your hands. Move to the face and feel what the other person's eyes, eyebrows, hair and lips are like for you. You can do the same with the palms, chest, belly and any places you'd like to get to know from a new angle.
When you've both had enough, open your eyes and share what you felt.
Letters to each other
Write a story that's hard for you to tell in person.
Or describe a shared memory that makes you happy.
Describe your feelings and try to tell, in the letter, how you see your partner through your own eyes, what you like most and what makes you happiest.
Letters can carry more emotion, and they stay with you as a keepsake of this time.
Breathing
Hug each other, listen to each other's breathing, and try to sync up your inhales and exhales.
