Orgasm in your sleep

How it works

For the brain, there isn't much difference between thinking we're being caressed and it actually happening.

When we think about our erogenous zones being touched, the sensory cortex "lights up" the same way it does from the touch itself.

During REM sleep, blood flows to the erectile tissue (just like during natural arousal). And that can lead to orgasm.

After 30, the number of nocturnal orgasms drops sharply. Hormones aren't raging as much anymore, plus there's regular sex or release through masturbation.

Unlike semen on underwear, there's less "evidence" of an orgasm in your sleep here. But that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. On the contrary, the number of orgasms during sleep grows: it peaks between the ages of 40 and 50.

Some people wake up from an orgasm in their sleep, and some don't. Some people orgasm more often in their sleep, while it's harder for them to reach orgasm when awake. Remember how hard it can be to get in the mood for sex: some people worry about their figure, about shame or other beliefs that limit their sexuality. In your sleep, none of that gets in the way.

If you experience orgasm in your sleep but not in real life, it most likely means that it's hard for you to relax and switch off distracting thoughts during sex.

Can I bring myself to orgasm in my sleep?

There's nothing we can do to make the brain give us a guaranteed orgasm in our sleep, however much we'd like it to. There are a few recommendations that increase the chance of an orgasm during sleep (they aren't based on research, but why not explore for yourself):

• Sleeping on your stomach or in another position that puts pressure on the external genitals
• Fantasising, watching or reading something sexy before bed. Arousal during the day is great too: in our sleep we usually process what happened to us during the day.
• More orgasms in your waking life (amen). It's simple: the more sex you have, the more you want it (yes, in your sleep too).