Love is? A podcast episode about love in the age of capitalism

This podcast episode about love really resonated with me, even though there are no personal stories in it. But I like how sincerely the two hosts reason things through.

The leitmotif of the episode: we are afraid to love and to fall in love, and instead we've started talking about relationships and using all sorts of therapy terms.

Loving and falling in love have become sort of shameful...

I see this in my own experience too. For example, on dating apps: the phenomenon of how popular a casual-dating app has become, people looking for FWB and ONS,* and profiles often mention therapy. I'm reading about the same thing right now in a sociologist's study. The podcast discusses ideas from Liv Strömquist's essay "The Reddest Rose" about why the feeling of being in love has become rarer. Give it a listen.

I think the pace of life today sets new norms for relationships, love and being in love. And acute moments like the pandemic and isolation make us wonder: are we living with the right people, and are we living the way we really want to?

In my experience, love fades when partners stop talking to each other about everything that matters to them. That's such an important marker. Sometimes it fades when both people have changed and no longer see a shared path. When a powerful external circumstance comes along, such as a move or a pandemic, events like that make people show themselves and get to know each other from not the most pleasant side, and of course, without dialogue, the relationship is very likely to change.