How to help yourself when distressing events are happening around you
Psychologists on how to cope with anxiety, grief and helplessness in the face of distressing news, and what to do about being public during tragic events.
How to help yourself when distressing events are happening around you
To be honest, we made this piece for selfish reasons: we really needed it.
Thank you to our Purpur psychologists.
! If panic attacks and heightened anxiety show up often in your everyday life, it's better to see a specialist.
A psychologist
One common defence reaction is to find out as much as possible about what happened.
Most often it comes from an unconscious wish to protect yourself: I'll find out everything and prepare myself, I'll understand what happened and try to make sure it doesn't happen in my life.
This fuels the urge to read more and more articles, and even the comments under them. Unfortunately, past a certain point this doesn't lower your anxiety; on the contrary, it raises it.
It's important to ration the information you take in. Compassion and understanding the situation matter, but the powerlessness, helplessness and anxiety we run into can be quite hard to live through.
Try box breathing: breathe in for a count of 4, hold your breath for 4, breathe out for 4, hold for 4.
Shift your attention to what is happening in the moment: try noticing the things around you and the sensations in your body (trees, people, colours, smells).
Share your feelings with someone: if there are topics that are hard for you to bear, talk about them with the people close to you.
"Bring yourself back into your body": use clear, firm touch — rub your ears, pat yourself on the shoulder, place a palm on your belly and chest. Help yourself return to the world of bodily sensations and notice something other than the anxiety welling up.
Some people are helped by the feeling that they aren't standing on the sidelines. Helping (if possible) or actively discussing things online and with loved ones helps them cope with the sense of powerlessness and gives them something to lean on.
Others are helped by an information blackout and avoiding triggering topics as much as possible.
Remember that none of these options is right or wrong.
Gauge your resources and do whatever helps you feel cared for during this time.
The news can throw us into a state of anxiety and grief. It's normal to feel sadness, fear and powerlessness amid sad media headlines.
Limit the flow of triggering information. Yes, it sounds almost impossible, but give it a try. Go outside for a couple of hours and listen to yourself so you can recharge.
What to do about being public during tragic events?
You can debate the ethics of this for a long time. No form of public behaviour can express our inner state 100%. We can feel joy about, say, the birth of a child or a success in our personal life, and at the same time grieve about something.
Talk about the tragedy if you want to. It can become an important part of a ritual of remembrance, mourning and compassion.
If you have nothing to say, don't force yourself.
