Gen Z and sex

Why does Gen Z have less sex than other generations?

In short: for them, sex is one more area of life where it's important to take care of yourself.

Gen Z surprises older generations with its attitude to sex: for Gen Z, sex is no longer a priority, and self-care comes first.

The statistics confirm it: 22%* of people aged 18 to 23 don't have sex. That's higher than among other generations.

Today the conditions for sex are fairly comfortable: open media, different contraception options, sex education, porn at the first click and an abundance of sex gadgets.

You might assume there would be more sex. But abundance has had the opposite effect.

So why does Gen Z approach sex differently? We break down the reasons next.

• according to a women's health index study by a pharmaceutical company

Sex education and psychotherapy have taught Gen Z to understand themselves and their boundaries

Young people know what they like and what makes them uncomfortable, they can say "no" and they aren't willing to go along with other people's wishes.

They enter relationships mindfully and only become intimate when they really want to. With this attitude there is less sex, but only less unwanted sex.

It would be interesting to see the statistics if other generations also chose sex only when it was truly a "want to" rather than a "have to". Boomers' jokes (like Gen Z's reels) express a generation's values to us. And the main storyline about sex in them is that it's an obligation, a chore, a duty and a routine.

Sex is accessible, but it's anxiety-inducing

Interacting with real people comes with ambivalent feelings. In contact with another person we can feel not only the joy of closeness but also shame, anxiety, fear and embarrassment about ourselves. Real-life interaction feels hard and exhausting. And that's just interaction!

With sex, it can take several "trial" meetings for the tension to go away: to get used to each other, relax, and learn more about each other's desires and triggers. Or you could open a tab with your favourite porn actor or actress and a sex gadget that can do things a living person never could? Sounds easier.

Gen Z has been seeing exaggerated images of sexuality since childhood. Porn creates inflated expectations, which makes them even more anxious before real intimacy. The picture doesn't match reality, which leads to insecurity and avoidance of real relationships.

Sex is not about success but about care

For Gen Z, sex isn't a marker of success or status but one more area of life where it's important to take care of yourself.

They don't chase a high number of partners or try to be attractive for someone else's sake.

Instead, they look for emotional closeness, communication, relationships and hobbies that bring them real pleasure.

Gen Z can say "no", and they're ready to stand up for their desires and needs when necessary.

The traditional pressure to "have partners" no longer matters to them. And this shift lets them choose more comfortable and harmonious forms of relationships.

Happiness in pop culture: then

Films and mass culture used to insist that happiness was impossible without regular sex.

Young people back then believed they had to actively pursue sex, and not having it turned them into outsiders. If someone showed no interest in sex, it was seen as a problem to be fixed (or at least hidden). Differences in temperament were acknowledged, but those who were content with less were seen as not quite whole.

In the 2000s, magazines and shows were full of advice on how to bring back the old passion, how to be a femme fatale lover, how to rekindle that fire if it had (oh, the horror) gone out. In the 2010s, online courses and workshops on the same topic became popular. If a couple wear sweatpants around each other and watch Game of Thrones in bed, millennials and boomers will say it's the end of the relationship and someone is definitely going to cheat.

Happiness in pop culture: now

Today this pressure is easing.

Gen Z understands that different levels of sexual desire, from strong to none at all, are equally valid.

Happiness is no longer measured by the amount of sex; it's built on harmony and on what both people want. In relationships, understanding and accepting each other now matters more.

Sex is still good, but it's no longer an end in itself. There are plenty of other ways to spend time that make you feel connected with your partner: hobbies, meeting friends, books, films or games. And yes, it can be sweatpants and Game of Thrones, even when you know every line by heart.