Everyone around me is having kids, but I'm not
Worried about losing touch with friends who are becoming parents? A psychologist and psychodrama therapist helps calm the anxiety.
Everyone around me is having kids, but I'm not
Cons: you're anxious about losing your friends.
Pros: you get to become that cool aunt or uncle to these little shrimps.
We're calming these anxieties together with a psychologist and psychodrama therapist.
I'm worried I'll lose touch with my friends. What should I do?
The psychologist is typing...
Your worries are completely normal. We all need social support, connections and friends.
It's normal to feel anxious about losing them, and this can come up at different stages of life that involve change. You may remember something similar after finishing school, while studying at university, when changing jobs or starting a relationship.
It can help to recall what helped you keep up your relationships with loved ones, and what they did on their side to make that happen.
Perhaps behind your anxiety lies a fear that changing values, priorities and rhythms of life will cause you to lose your friends.
On the one hand, any relationship means constantly attuning to each other, because people change. Sometimes we have to look for new common ground and new ways of interacting.
On the other hand, these are still the same people, and you still have what connected you.
Becoming a parent is a difficult period when life, circumstances and demands change radically. Your friends may be anxious too: they may fear losing touch with the people close to them.
For them, spending time with child-free friends can be a "breath of fresh air", a connection to their past selves and past life, an important source of support, or a space where they can step out of the parent role, even if only briefly.
Try talking to your friends about your fears, tell them how important it is to stay connected, and think together about how you can do that.
