Crises in friendship

Crises are a natural part of any relationship, friendship included.

Let's try to figure out how to get through crises and how they help us.

Crisis as a reassessment of needs and a reflection on the quality of the connection

Distance, losing shared topics and interests, or an unresolved conflict can scare us. Often, when this happens, we simply avoid the problem and drift apart. That is a perfectly understandable and natural scenario. But if you want to, you can do it differently.

What to do?

First, it helps to put into words what is bothering you. First to yourself, then to your friend: what exactly is going on. What are you feeling? Why do you think this is happening? And how would you like it to be? What can you do about it together?

"I feel that because of the distance we've stopped sharing important things with each other and have started drifting apart. I miss you so much. Let's pick a day of the week for calls, just the two of us?"

Crisis as realising you see friendship differently

We grow up, and our ideas about friendship change. One day we may discover that our ideas and our friend's no longer match.

What to do?

Find a time and a format to ask each other direct questions and give honest answers.

What does friendship mean to you?

How do you tell who is a close friend and who is just a buddy?

How do you know that someone considers you a friend?

Next stage: get through it can't end it

Where would you put the comma? What influenced your decision? What makes you doubt? Why is it important to make a decision?

In the course of a conversation, or in its absence (sometimes we never get an answer), you may feel the need to move on to the next stage. There are two paths:

1. Overcome the crisis and find a new way to be together

If you see in yourself and in your friend a readiness to strengthen your bond, you are setting off on a big journey.

2. End the relationship

Living through the loss of a meaningful relationship is a bitter experience. The picture of the future falls apart, and the past and present are called into question. During this time, don't be afraid to seek support from your loved ones or in therapy.

Friendship can be rebuilt, explored and tailored to you, so that you feel psychologically stronger with people whose values are close to yours.