Childfree with love for children

But since being childfree is a matter of personal choice rather than something given by nature (like orientation), I put it this way: I won't have children for the next 10 years.

And I've been saying this since I was 13, but it all started even a couple of years earlier.

Of course, for a long time nobody took my words seriously. And I think that now, and at 30, and at 40 (according to my followers), nobody will believe it's a conscious choice.

It's easier for people to believe that you have problems with your partner, your health or your mental health than that you really chose a life without children for yourself.

Being childfree doesn't necessarily mean hating children, not knowing how to handle them and understanding nothing about their upbringing and development.

I probably know too much for someone who has never given birth. I have an 11-year-old sister and a 7-year-old cousin. And I love them very much.

And I have no reason to hate other people's children either: they melt my heart too, I believe in their future, and I want their childhood to go as well as it possibly can.

Having a child is a matter of awareness, not just simple desire.

But I don't want children myself. I'd find it interesting to go through pregnancy, but then the real problem begins: a human being in your hands. I just don't want to experience "the joys of motherhood"; it doesn't interest me much.

And yes, "I don't want to" often comes with no further explanation.

Ideally, on the very first date. Then, most likely, your paths will either part painlessly or come together with understanding. Either way, it's a good outcome.

If you've put it off until the last moment and are already getting questions from your partner like "Maybe we should have kids?", you have my sincere sympathy.

Imagine that for several years you didn't spare yourself for the sake of a goal. And then you were told you'll never reach that goal anyway. All that time is gone, your nerves are shot. You might think: "Well, at least now we have it all." But what about the resentment and the feeling of having been deceived? Those are there too, and your partner will drown in them.

That's why the conversation needs to start honestly:

"I don't want children. Being a mom doesn't appeal to me." And watch how your partner reacts.

If you haven't talked about it yet but have been together for a while, pluck up your courage, sit down and say it. The sooner, the better.

Here you can start with a question: "Do you want children? I've realized that I don't." And, again, take it from there depending on the reaction.

It may well turn out that your partner doesn't dream of children at all either. And then it's fireworks, fanfare and a happy life together.