A man "must"
Together with a psychotherapist, we look at why it matters to reflect on which ideas society has imposed on you and which ones are truly your own.
A man "must"
Purpur takes on gender stereotypes.
Together with a psychotherapist and author of a Telegram channel, we look at why it's important to reflect on which ideas have been imposed by society and which are your own and reflect your individuality.
This post was prepared together with a male psychologist who works on men's issues in today's world and helps other men let go of stereotypes.
This article doesn't dismiss the problems other people face; it highlights the specifics of one particular group.
Gender equality benefits everyone: it lets us express our own individuality and build healthy ways of relating to each other.
Myth
"A man must be strong and brave, emotionally unshakable, take the initiative, provide, be a sex guru and dominate."
Most men run into these toxic ideas. Such "guidelines" keep men from expressing their individuality, which often doesn't fit these demands at all.
There are still plenty of patriarchal stereotypes about what a man should be like in a relationship. He must pay for everything, he must do the pursuing, text first, and so on. Ideas like these are harmful to both sides and can create an imbalance in the relationship.
For example, anyone in a relationship can be the softer, more accommodating one (and that's normal), do the housework and take parental leave (and that's normal too).
Showing emotions doesn't make a man any less of a man; it shows that he is alive and real
How to find your own guidelines?
Reflect on which ideas have been imposed by society and which are your own and reflect your individuality.
Take a look at masculism, a movement to end sexism against men that promotes letting go of stereotypical ideas about men.
Respect the other person's rights and what they do (and don't) want; don't keep pushing once you've been turned down. No means no.
Work on avoiding stereotypical thinking about other people. It's important to see the person, not the stereotype.
All of this will help you feel freer and build relationships that are more comfortable (for you and your partners).
