Office romance 2K21, part 2
HR specialists answer questions about romantic and sexual relationships at work.
Office romance 2K21, part 2
Relationships at work. Yes or no?
Together with a job-search service and a career-consulting service, we've prepared a piece about romantic and sexual relationships at work.
This is part two.
I had sex with a colleague (a boss, a subordinate). Do I need to report it? What happens to me now?
An HR director at a restaurant chain
If it's just sex and nobody's feelings are hurt, then as HR I have the right not to know about it, so there's no need to tell anyone.
If this sex grows into something bigger, and especially if a "boss-subordinate" dynamic comes into play, ask yourself the following questions:
An HR director at a restaurant chain
- How will this relationship affect my career?
- How much does my colleagues' opinion matter to me?
- How will I feel if my private life becomes a topic of discussion at work?
- How will this relationship affect my partner's career and their standing at work?
- Will I be able to stay independent in my work?
- Will I be able to stay objective in work matters if things go wrong between us?
- How will conflicts in our relationship affect the team?
We're definitely in a relationship now, and we're on the same team. What's the plan?
A head of people and culture at a game development studio
There's just one piece of advice: talk. Agree on ground rules: how and what you can talk about at work and outside of it, whether you'll tell your colleagues (who will most likely start guessing anyway) or keep the relationship a secret.
A head of people and culture at a game development studio
Check your company's internal code of conduct: if there's no ban on relationships between colleagues, you have nothing to fear. Often there's a written ban on "boss-subordinate" relationships, but relationships between colleagues of the same level or from different teams aren't regulated.
And of course, discuss in advance what you'll do if you break up: will it affect your work or not? Questions like these can be hard to talk about, especially at the start of a relationship, but in return you'll both feel at ease.
A colleague/boss/teammate keeps showing me persistent attention. How should I react and what should I do? If it's mutual/not mutual.
An HR business partner at a retail company
If it's not mutual, it's worth saying so right away. Set boundaries: "Thank you, but please don't" — simply, without mockery or rudeness. The colleague may not accept the rejection, and you need to understand that this can lead to changes in your professional relationship — up to and including dismissal.
An HR business partner at a retail company
If it's mutual, congratulations! Whether to tell your colleagues that you're a couple is a decision each person makes on their own.
There's a practice of notifying management that you and a colleague are in a relationship, but you don't have to tell your team about your status.
