“I want complete love only with my husband”

I think virginity is everyone's own business.

And yet sometimes I do still think that it's not normal to be a virgin. As if after a certain age you're simply obliged to lose it.

It's important to remember that this isn't true. And that being a virgin after 25 is also normal and nothing to be ashamed of.

I have a friend who lied that she wasn't a virgin. Isn't that sad?

The first time I had to explain to myself and to my boyfriend why we weren't going to have sex now or any time soon, I was still at school, and I didn't yet know why myself.

It just felt, deep inside, that it was wrong, that I didn't want it — and not physically, but more psychologically. But back then I couldn't even put it into words like that; I acted as the situation required, intuitively.

I had to figure it out, and a miracle happened: what I felt inside had been perfectly “put into words” in Orthodox Christianity.

I was happy that someone before me had translated my unformed, subconscious feelings into words. They really resonated with me and gave me a kind of foundation: life became simpler and more pleasant.

I've never doubted my choice, which goes something like this:

I want complete love only with my husband.

For me, this is my own particular choice of faithfulness to my husband. Even while we haven't met yet.

And I've never wanted to build up experience or practise, as people I know suggested. It even feels kind of funny to write that.