How meditation made my sex better
A meditation practitioner of more than 10 years on how to clear your head before sex and simply enjoy it.
How meditation made my sex better
Request: learn to clear my head before sex and enjoy it.
Answering this request is a woman who has practised meditation for more than 10 years. She has also lived in the taiga with shamans, done a solo Vipassana retreat in the desert and climbed a mountain range alone, so all in all, she has plenty to share.
Great sex happens thanks to what goes on in our heads: fantasies, mood, arousal. But sometimes a single stray thought is enough to ruin everything.
Relaxing the body, switching off stray thoughts and focusing on the process here and now: meditation gives you all of this.
If at 3 a.m. you're wondering why worms crawl out onto the road when it rains, and during sex you're thinking about how to twist yourself so your partner won't see your third belly roll, this is for you.
1. Meditation and concentration
How do we get our head to work on the same team as us (aka the team for enjoying great sex)?
Our brain loves a thought blender, scrolling the feed and endlessly processing information. Listening to pleasant music and picturing a green meadow you're walking across barefoot isn't meditation, it's relaxation, which also "entertains" the brain. Meditation aims to switch off all channels of perception and turn your attention inward.
You can start meditating by simply concentrating on your breath and the sensations in your body. This is what's called being in the here and now (in your resource, in the flow, so to speak).
Sit with a straight back, eyes closed. As far as possible, isolate yourself from everything your body registers (background sounds, smells). Take a few slow cycles of belly breathing. Start counting: it will make it easier to hold your attention. Yes, your brain will panic and start throwing thoughts at you, but the essence of meditation is deliberately holding your attention. We observe these thoughts from the outside but don't let them carry us away. Follow your breath closely. Meditating for 5 minutes in the morning and in the evening is enough; later you can increase the time.
With every practice it will go better and better, and your mind will throw fewer and fewer unnecessary thoughts at you. The good news: meditation practice has a cumulative effect.
2. Open dialogue to clear your head
Discuss your thoughts, doubts and fantasies with each other.
Clear your head and simply enjoy: sounds like a great plan.
3. Enjoying the process
When your focus shifts from reaching orgasm to enjoying the process, yourself and your partner, everything changes for the better many times over.
4. Breathing
A yogi / doctor / freediver (anyone, really) will tell you that you should breathe with your belly. When you breathe with your chest, your diaphragm isn't engaged, and that's very important.
Relax, let your belly go, breathe and observe the sensations.
5. Enjoying yourself!
We're beautiful with all our rolls, stretch marks, hair or lack of it. This can be hard to accept given the established ideas of the "ideal" body. But our body is alive, it changes, and that's normal. And it also brings us pleasure (thank you, body, you're great!)
Love and explore yourself. Meditate and discover the world and pleasure.
